WHAT TO CONSIDER BEFORE MARRIAGE IN GHANA

 1. RELIGION

The first on the list is RELIGION. In Ghana Christianity and Islam have dominated all the 16 regions. It’s the first thing to consider when considering marriage. This goes both ways. Unfortunately, most of the RELIGIOUS populace are not open minded when it comes to other religions and are completely biased towards the two dominating religions. This is a setback and red line to anybody who is open minded. Honestly, the level of religious bias is devastating such that it reflected almost everywhere in the country.

Discuss religion before marriage

Here are some instances and barriers:

• Some churches allow marriage only within the same church
• Some churches dictate how marriages for members should be performed
• Some religious leaders turn to control a lot of marriages through women (mostly) completely
• Some churches never accept any form of religion (bias) and see all other to be wrong

It is always a good thing get married to someone who shares your believes and values, rather unfortunate the modern generation believes in their own culture than that of our ancestors.

   

    RELIGION SHOULD BE THE FIRST RED LINE TO WATCH WHEN THINKING OF MARRIAGE IN GHANA

2. FINANCE 

Be clear on your finances, joint account, separate accounts or whatever you decide and stick with it. Clarify your roles and spending when it comes to finances. A lot of marriages have sunk due to this issue. Be candid and clear on financial issues. Do not hide anything from the other that needs to be shared. Decide on who takes what, and adjust when time changes. Whatever you do, have a solid discussion over this before settling down.

Be financially stable before marriage

3. TRIBE, FAMILY AND IN-LAWS

No tribe is excellent but when it comes to marriage, you have to take precautions. Some tribes never allow marriage to other tribes. This could be tribal or family level issue. Whereas some people I know vow never to marry Fante Men because they claim they are obsessive. Others also vow never to marry Ewes, others also have a personal agenda against Akans and Ashantis alike, it a very common phenomenon but very considerable when it comes to getting married in Ghana.

When it comes to this, get to know if each side of your families have these issues before proceeding. It can lead to future problems since families have roles they play in our traditional marriages. There may be a reason why they don’t want you marrying from a certain tribe, its not bad to dig further to understand why it is so.

With this, you should also agree and draw boundaries for family interference from both sides. Agree on how you will handle family members, whether you will allow long stay visits, the types of families you will accept visiting and sharing issues with them. Family members and friends are a number 2 threat to all marriages. Both spouses have to have a common agreement on how to handle family members. Irrespective of the fact that they are family, they should have their boundaries.

Another aspect of the family thing is to do your homework also about the family of your partner. Know the kind of family you are getting into, who they are? Are they quarrelsome, what sickness runs through the family, any traces of violence? Visit the family and get to know them a little, this is very essential since it will highlight what you should expect in your home in the future.

Plan how to manage your in-laws 

4. TYPE OF LEGAL BINDING

There are 3 main types of marriages backed by law in Ghana; the customary, ordinance and Mohammedans. Both spouses must agree on the type of marriage they want. All these must be agreed upon before marriage or bringing forth children. I have seen a lot go wrong with several marriages with regards to this area or agreement in marriages. If you are a man, be honest with the woman and let her know if you will want a second wife or not in the future. Real men speak the truth, no matter what. Our culture permits polygamy hence its position in the constitution. Go for it if you can, but both spouses must first agree.

Agree to marry custom, ordinance or Muhammadian in Ghana

5. YOUR INTERESTS AND DIFFERENCES

A very important area most people overlook in Ghana before marriage, It is valuable to identify and clearly know your differences and interests before tying the knot, not just in Ghana but anywhere. This can range from food to number of friends and preference of friends you both have to open up to. You need to be very open about this to avoid future surprises that may turn into problems. You cannot identify or see all at once but it helps to talk about it. If you are an open-minded person, go for someone who is also open minded or it can lead to hurdles in the future. 

Agreeing to disagree help make marriage successful

6. MOBILE PHONE 

Until recently, mobile phones were not much of a threat to marriages, but now it has really become a big issue of interest and fragility. Before marriage, discuss and come to agreement on the use of mobile phones. Agree to have access to each other's phone at random or not, it's always up to you two. I for one wouldn't mind if my spouse goes through my phone because I do not think of hiding anything, if someone intends to hide things from you, there are better ways of doing it than on mobile phones. There must also be rules to guard the use of phones when you are together, such rules could include; 

a. Not bringing phones to the dinner table or bed 

b. Giving attention to your partner and not ignoring him/ her for phone etc.

Set some rules for mobile devices in marriage to prevent unwanted suspicion 

7. EDUCATION, WORK AND BUSINESS PLANS

Have a clear and common idea when it comes to education, work or business. Since education, work or business can directly impact the success of marriage, it needs to tabled and discussed. Where do you see yourself in the next 5 years after marriage? Are you planning children or you want to pursue you education? The woman especially must come clear on this issue.  Another issue is overseas traveling, you must be very concise when it comes to these issues. Agree to disagree, disagree to agree before you get married, if not, it can lead to problems.

Agree on education continuity issues before marriage

8. SEX AND CHILDREN

Know your partner well when it comes to intimacy. Most Ghanaians shy away from this and lo, it ends up breaking a lot of marriages silently. Although sex isn’t a major issue unless it becomes one, sit and talk about it, what you like and what you don’t. Know your spouses demands and expectations very clearly before proceeding. Be precise and outline your boundaries because there’s a lot of surprises nowadays when it comes to sexual issues. Also decide on the number of children you want to have and plan for it. Unless otherwise stick with your plans. Always be open to your spouse concerning intimacy.

Discuss sex and children before marriage

9. ASK YOURSELF IF YOU ARE TRULY READY!

Marriage is not a joking affair, it comes with its own internal and external challenges. Ask and ask and confirm with yourself, with your mind and soul if you are truly ready. Do not just jump in because you feel you are ready or because you don't see any other option ahead. Instead you should make sure you are truly committed. Commitment keeps marriage not love. Although commitment if not balanced with smartness may turn into foolishness, it is still the key ingredient to keep your marriage. Don't jump into the marriage band wagon because everybody else is doing it. Look for someone you will be happy with, not someone who will be your financial pillar! Look for someone who will stand with you, not someone who will stand by you. The final decision to spend your lifetime with someone else should be your take, listen and weigh advice from your parents but take your decisions yourself and let them respect that. This is the most important aspect to focus on before getting married, make sure you feel right in spirit and instinct about your partner.

Be psychologically prepared before marriage

10. PREMARITAL SCREENING

With all said and done, the last important subject is to go for premarital screening. You need to screen for Hepatitis B, C, Rh factor testing, Cervical cancer, HIV etc. This last thing can save both couples a lot of stress. It is a very common practice to see majority of Ghanaian marrying without these tests, some run in issues of sickle cells, birth defects and other related problems that can be caused by ignoring premarital screening.

Once you get much information from the above areas of interest, then you can proceed and have a lovely marriage. There may be days of sorrow and days of joy, but in all, that is how life is programmed to be. Just don't end up in an unhappy bondage! Be vigilant!

By: cyberghost